


Marauders and Mandrake Leaves

by shoebox_addict



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Gen, Marauders' Era, implied Remus/Sirius - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-09
Updated: 2016-02-09
Packaged: 2018-05-19 10:39:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,155
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5964259
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shoebox_addict/pseuds/shoebox_addict
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Part of the process by which one becomes an Animagus is holding the leaf of a mandrake in their mouth for an entire month."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Marauders and Mandrake Leaves

**Author's Note:**

> The tone and some choice characterizations in this fic have been pulled from The Shoebox Project, or at least an attempt was made to reach the halcyon heights of that legendary fic.

The herbology greenhouses were eerie at night, when there were no students crowding around the trestle tables and chattering about anything other than the plants in front of them. The moment James unlocked the greenhouse door and stepped inside the forbidden area, a thrill ran up his spine. The thrill was missing something, though -- the small voice behind him that was always disapproving quietly of what was happening on this midnight jaunts of theirs.

Rather than midnightily jaunting with them this evening, Remus was locked away because the moon in the sky was full and bright. Though this was actually part a surprise they were planning for Remus, James had no doubt that Remus would be shaking his head sadly at their delinquency if he were there. 

"I really should have worn two pairs of socks," Peter remarked. "Who knew the grounds get so bloody cold at night?"

"Everyone," said Sirius. "Literally everyone. This is Scotland."

James ignored his bickering friends and walked slowly along the line of plants that Professor Broderick had lined up neatly. Broderick was known for his organization and propensity for labeling, so James was confident they could find what they were looking for. If they ran into any trouble, though, he had a torn page from his Herbology book in the pocket of his trousers.

“Mimbulus mimbletonia,” said Peter, somewhere behind him. “That was the password last spring. Wonder what it does…”

James whirled around just in time to hiss, “Don’t touch that!” Peter’s fingers paused mere inches from a leaf of the mysterious plant.

“How come?” he said, fingers still poised, a deer-in-the-headlights expression on his face.

James hesitated. “I don’t know. But if Remus was here, I’m pretty sure he would warn you not to touch that. Or any of the plants, for that matter. Just don’t touch anything that isn’t labeled ‘mandrake’ okay?”

“Right,” said Peter. He pulled his hand away from the plant and stuffed it into his trouser pocket for good measure.

“I think I found it,” said Sirius, from the other side of the greenhouse.

James and Peter darted through the trestle tables to join Sirius, and James illuminated his wand with a hushed Lumos. There was, indeed, a tag on the plant Sirius had pointed out and it was labeled as a mandrake. James pulled out the page from his textbook anyway, comparing the drawing to the plant in front of him.

“Hurry up,” Peter whined, stamping his feet against the dirt floor of the greenhouse.

“I want to be sure,” James murmured, his eyes darting from the textbook page to the plant and back again.

“You don’t want to be carrying some useless leaf in your mouth for a month, do you?” said Sirius.

“I guess not,” said Peter, frowning. “Are you guys…do you think we’ll be able to do this?”

“We have to,” said Sirius, glancing back through the glass walls of the greenhouse.

“Basically,” said James. “The spell was very clear about this whole leaf thing. I think this is it, guys. Choose your leaves.”

“Do they have to be a certain size?” said Sirius.

James shook his head. “The spell did mention that mandrake leaves can be anywhere from two inches to fifteen inches long, but not which size we had to use.”

“Here, Pete,” said Sirius, holding up the most massive leaf on the plant. “This one looks perfect for you.”

“Sod off,” said Peter.

“Right, this one looks good.” James plucked off a leaf that was roughly two or three inches long. He held it up to his lips and Sirius nodded at him.

It was simple enough to hold the leaf up and compare it to the size of one’s mouth. Holding it inside, nestled somewhere between teeth and tongue, was another matter entirely. In the months since they had first begun researching the animagus spell, James, Sirius, and Peter had had many conversations about the holding-a-leaf-in-your-mouth portion of the spell. Peter had been adamant that it was impossible, but James and Sirius had eventually talked him into it. They reserved their doubts for private conversations, lest Peter lose his nerve.

Sirius chose next and then Peter plucked off a leaf for himself. When set beside each other, Peter’s leaf was clearly the largest of the three. Just as he was opening his mouth to gripe about it, Sirius piped up.

“Let’s switch leaves, okay?” he said, offering his smaller one to Peter.

“Really?” Peter stared at him suspiciously, trying to suss out where the catch lay.

“No catch, honestly,” said Sirius. “You had to pick last and it’s…it’s not fair. Just take my bloody leaf, all right?”

James gave Sirius a small, appreciative smile as he and Peter exchanged leaves. If Sirius had really been doing it because he thought Peter couldn’t handle it, he would have smiled back at James. Instead, he stoically studied the leaf that was now his, which was at least two inches longer than the one he’d given up. James swallowed his smile and glanced down at his own leaf.

“Make nice with your leaves, boys,” he said. “Because you’re basically going to be making out with them for the next month.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Despite being out late, Sirius awoke just after the sun came up. James and Peter were still sound asleep, quite impressive snores emanating from James' four-poster. Sirius quickly changed his clothes and ran his fingers through his hair in front of the mirror. He was trying to grow it out to match a Muggle rockstar whose picture he'd seen over the summer. James had already made several comments about his hair looking odd, but the disapproving looks he knew he'd get when he went home for Christmas were completely worth any ribbing he received at school.

On the morning after a full moon, Remus could always be found in the hospital wing. Sometimes it was extremely necessary for him to be there, but most of the time it was just for observation purposes and to patch up any scrapes or bruises he'd incurred during the night. He was usually released around lunchtime and joined Sirius, James, and Peter in the Great Hall. But this morning, Sirius wanted to visit him first. 

As he made his way down to the hospital wing, Sirius slipped his hand in his pocket to touch the mandrake leaf he had traded Peter for last night. It was big. Sirius had been known to eat his food without chewing and be called out on it multiple times during one meal, but this leaf was big. And it wasn't something he would be eating. It would just be languishing in his mouth. For a month. He had once hidden brussel sprouts in his mouth for an entire Christmas dinner with the Black family, but that seemed like a cakewalk now compared to this mandrake leaf. 

Of course he didn't want James to think he couldn't do it, so he had made a point of not complaining. But maybe trading leaves with Peter had been going too far.

Sirius opened the hospital wing door as quietly as he possibly could and scanned the room to see if Madame Nussbaum was there. Luckily, she appeared to be in her office and there was no sign of her trainee -- Poppy Pomfrey -- anywhere either. The hospital wing was empty except for one patient -- a young boy with a mop of light brown hair who was sleeping in a bed near the windows.

Remus looked so small in the hospital bed, though Sirius knew he had been enormous and terrifying mere hours earlier. Sirius only knew this from pictures in textbooks; he had yet to see Remus transform or even see his lycanthropic state. If he was honest with himself, that was the most frightening part of this whole animagi plan. Once they had succeeded (and he knew they would, damn the mandrake leaves), Sirius would have to see what Remus looked like at the full moon. The thought kept him up at night sometimes, but he tried to remind himself that this plan would help Remus, and he could live with anything that came along with that end result. 

For a little while, Sirius sat awkwardly in a chair next to Remus' bed, arms folded and eyes roving around the room so they wouldn't land on Remus. Sirius really did not want to be one of those creeps who watched people while they slept. 

"Hey, you."

Sirius nearly jumped out of his skin at the sound of Remus' voice. He finally allowed himself to look at his friend, who was now forcing himself to wake up. 

"Hey," he said. "Don't get up on my account."

"S'fine," said Remus, sleepily. "What brings you here?"

"Erm, sorry I'm a bit of a mess," said Sirius. "Woke up, couldn't sleep, thought I'd come down and see how you were."

"I like the unwashed look," said Remus, his eyes still half-closed. "And this hair you've got going on...very Byronic of you."

"I'll take your word for it," said Sirius. "So, how are you?"

"Not as bad as some nights," Remus croaked, coughing softly. 

"That's good," said Sirius.

Remus shifted in bed in an attempt to become upright and winced, his eyebrows furrowed in pain. "Bugger. It seems something happened to my back last night. Not sure I want to know, but I'm sure Madame Nussbaum will give me a full briefing when she returns."

"Are you okay?" said Sirius. He held his hands out awkwardly, as though he could put them to use steadying Remus. "Do you need anything?"

Remus shook his head and sunk back against the pillows with a sigh. "Just rest. Which is very boring. And quite frustrating as I have some reading to do. But you know, it comes with the territory."

"Right," said Sirius. He chewed at his lip and slipped his hand into his pocket. Perhaps he should tell Remus what they were planning. If he had something to look forward to, something that he thought might help, he would feel better. But James had already discussed this with Sirius and Peter. They had decided to keep it a secret for now in case they failed. They didn't want to get Remus' hopes up for something that wasn't going to work. 

"Are you okay?" said Remus, looking at Sirius suspiciously. "You seem distracted?"

"Distracted? No," said Sirius. "Just...hungry. Haven't had any breakfast yet."

"Well, you should go on and eat," said Remus. "I have to wait to hear the rundown of what I did to myself last night, but there's no reason why you should stick around."

"Right," he said again. "Look, do you want me to bring you anything? If you have some reading to do, maybe I could bring you your book?"

Remus smiled and shook his head. "It's fine, Sirius. You're always telling me to lay off the studies and get some relaxing done anyway. Now's my chance."

Sirius nodded, forcing himself to smile back at Remus. But he kept getting distracted as he noticed more bruises and cuts in odd places on Remus' arms. He would never get used to this. He had no idea how Remus had ever gotten used to it. It was bad enough to see him like this, he couldn't imagine how it felt to go through it every month. 

"If you say so," he said. "Um. So. I guess I will go have breakfast."

Remus nodded. "I'll see you all later on."

"Okay."

Sirius hesitated for a moment longer, wishing that he could hug Remus or something. But that would be weird and it would probably just hurt anyway. So he gave him an awkward wave and hurried out of the hospital wing. 

Just a few minutes later, Sirius barrelled into the boy's dormitory, ready to wake his friends with a rousing rendition of whatever show tune first came to mind. But he found that Peter and James were already awake. Peter was still rubbing his eyes lazily and James was still in his pyjamas, occupying himself with that infuriating Snitch that he'd managed to nick somehow. 

"Okay, boys," said Sirius, rubbing his hands together eagerly. "Who's ready to get well acquainted with a mandrake leaf?"

His pronouncement was met with silence. Confused silence, in Peter's case. 

"I...I thought we would wait until Monday," said James. "It's the first of the month, so we can easily keep track of how much longer we've got."

"Mark it down on a calendar and it'll be just as easy," said Sirius. "Come on, why waste time? The longer we wait the longer we build it up in our heads, right? Let's just get started and get it over with."

"I guess he's right," said Peter. "If we wait until Monday, I'll just be worrying about it all weekend."

James frowned, looking very annoyed. He didn't enjoy having his well-laid plans waylaid, but Sirius reckoned this had more to do with a certain hesitancy that a certain bespectacled boy harbored than foiled plans. Eventually, though, he agreed. There was no point in waiting. The time was now.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

There was no other way to describe it. Mandrake leaves were disgusting. When the leaf had first touched Sirius' tongue, he had used a few other choice words to describe the taste, but 'disgusting' was the simplest descriptor. Now the three of them were sitting in the Great Hall, staring contemplatively at their plates. To eat or not to eat, that was the question. Whether ‘tis nobler to suffer a lost breakfast now and learn the slings and arrows of mixing food with mandrake leaves, or to just start straight away and get it over with.

“I’m starving,” mumbled Peter. 

“Me too,” Sirius admitted. “This is...God, it’s, like, poking at my gums. I swear to fucking God, I’m going to kill whoever came up with this part of the spell.”

James had not said much since the leaf had first entered his mouth. Sirius got the distinct impression that he didn’t want to open his mouth, lest he gag and spit the leaf right onto the table. Sirius was glad that he didn’t because the mere sight of that would probably make him forcefully eject his own leaf.

“Can’t go back now,” said James, suddenly. He spoke through gritted teeth and made a disgusted face as he forced the words out. “If we take them out and have to restart, the clock resets. How much time have we put in?”

Peter squinted at his watch. “Twenty minutes?”

“Oh, God,” James moaned. 

“Maybe your watch is slow,” said Sirius. He forced himself to smile, thinking that it might improve his attitude. All it accomplished was driving the leaf deeper into his gums, making his eyes water. He shifted his tongue, trying to get the leaf into a more comfortable position. It was during this act that he was caught unawares by the hand of someone who was surely made of stone being brought down upon his shoulder.

“Why so quiet, boys?”

Sirius’ eyes grew wide as he glanced up at James, whose expression mirrored his. Although, if anything, James looked more frightened because he could actually see who was standing behind Sirius—Kingsley Shacklebolt. James instantly became preoccupied with the eggs he had piled onto his plate in a misguided attempt to prod himself into eating something. Sirius cursed his cowardice. If he couldn’t count on James to offer up trap doors for removing oneself from sticky situations, who could he count on?

“No reason,” said Peter, the last man Sirius had expected to count on. “Just wanted a quiet breakfast.”

“Oh, really? What happened to the edict that you rained down on us all last month?” said Kingsley. “The one that said breakfasts should not be quiet because we needed to wake up and start the day.”

“New edict,” said Sirius, glancing up at James again. James was still staring at his plate and grimacing, which was most unfortunate as Sirius had been holding out hope for some kind of latent stroke of genius from him. “Erm…we’re developing a new…erm…method of communication. Yeah, that’ll do. And it involves no speech at all, see? So, erm, it goes something like this.”

Sirius kicked James’ leg under the table and James glanced up in anger. Sirius gave him a very pointed look and raised his hands, hoping James had at least been listening. As he began waving his fingers through the air and moving his shoulders up and down, the corners of James’ mouth lifted ever so slightly in spite of the leaf he was hiding. Sirius continued his impression of a hippogriff trying to take off, all the while aware of Peter’s wide eyes fixed on him. When he was finished, he held out his hand to James. Your turn.

Finally knocked from his fearful, miserable stupor, James returned to the boy Sirius knew and began flapping his arms and waggling his fingers in an even more impressive fashion than Sirius. He even stood up from his bench and incorporated a few leg movements, attracting the attention of nearly everyone in the Great Hall. Sirius grinned at him and then furrowed his brow, remembering that he should probably be “studying” these movements and “interpreting” them for some kind of message.

“I don’t know what you’re up to,” said Kingsley, as James continued to flap about like a complete idiot. “But that is not an efficient means of communication.”

“Right-o,” said Sirius, cheerfully. “Duly noted. Glad we ran this past your expert panel of one, Shacklebolt. Move along, then.”

Kingsley gave him one more skeptical, completely bemused look, and then moved on to sit with his friends. Sirius let out a sigh of relief and motioned for James to sit down.

“He’s right,” said Peter. “I don’t know what he’s trying to say.”

“Neither do I, Pete. Oi—let up, mate,” he said. “You’re going to pull something semi-important.”

James grinned and winked at him. “More than semi-important, I assure you.”

“Are you sure?” said Sirius. “I reckon Evans got a full view of that interpretive dance you were attempting. She’s probably not interested in your importance. At least, no more than she was before, which really wasn’t very much if I recall correctly.”

James glared at him. Then, as calmly as you please, he scooped some of his eggs onto his fork and flicked them at Sirius’ head. Sirius brushed the eggs away from his unruly locks and then apologized to the third year girl on whom they landed.

“Cheer up, mate. Perhaps your animagus form will be a flamingo,” said Sirius, coolly. “Wings will certainly help you with some of those signals you were trying to send me.”

Sirius just had enough time to duck before James’ entire, egg-filled plate came soaring at his head.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“I assume you have done the reading for today’s class, Mr. Pettigrew.”

Peter froze. There he had been—just leafing through the latest issue of Xenophilius’ crazy publication, The Quibbler (Peter enjoyed the illustrations done by Frank Longbottom), and that had rendered him open to attack. He turned around to find Professor McGonagall standing there, gazing down at him sternly. Her glasses were perched on the tip of her nose, the way they often were. Peter always wondered why they didn’t just slip right off her nose. Perhaps it was just the sheer amount of poise and intelligence that she embodied that kept them there. When Peter came up against McGonagall, he felt even more inept than he usually did.

“I-I have,” he stammered, aware that he still sounded strange because of the leaf currently residing in his mouth. Maybe if he kept the talking to a minimum, he could hide it from McGonagall and make it through the first day of this crazy plan.

“I see,” said Professor McGonagall. “And did you find it interesting?”

Peter smiled and gave her a thumbs-up, which was met with a furrowing of McGonagall’s brow and a downturn about her mouth. To escape her no-doubt imminent fury, Peter opened his mouth to parrot something he’d read in the Transfiguration chapter. Instead, what came out was a strangled sort of choking sound. The leaf in his mouth had been positioned perfectly so as to brush against that dangly bit at the back of his throat. Peter clutched at his throat and shifted the leaf in his mouth, willing himself not to cough. But the damage had been done—his eyes were watering and McGonagall was looking both concerned and suspicious.

“Are you quite all right, Mr. Pettigrew?” she said. “Do you need to visit the Hospital Wing?”

“No,” choked Peter, trying to get his own throat back under control. “No, I’m fine. Honestly.”

“You don’t seem fine,” said McGonagall. “In fact, you seem as though you’re about to choke to death. Come along, dear boy, let’s take you to see Madame Nussbaum.”

“No, really,” said Peter. The tickling sensation was abating and after a few more swallows he was feeling normal again. He straightened up, leaf pressed against the inside of his cheek and pride swelling inside his chest. “I’m just fine, Professor McGonagall. And I think I’m quite prepared to transfigure those rabbits tomorrow.”

Feeling pleased with himself for not letting the cat out of the bag, Peter hitched his bag up on his shoulder and strode off down the hallway.

McGonagall stood staring after him, a bemused expression on her face. “It’s not rabbits. It’s hedgehogs. Foolish boy…”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Two weeks in, the leaf seemed to be merging with Sirius’ mouth. He felt that he and the leaf were becoming one. During class, he would lean over to James and whisper something about beginning to grow roots from the bottom of his feet. James brushed him off, rolling his eyes, and Peter gave him a horrified look.

Once or twice, Remus had overheard these offhand comments and Sirius had to make something up about feeling tied down. Remus had reminded him that he was still underage and at school, so there was no sense in trying to run off on some misguided sense of needing to be somewhere with the wind in his hair. Typical Lupin Answer. Sirius had nodded seriously and then mused about buying himself a motorbike, which only made Remus sigh and shake his head.

They were halfway done. James was crossing off the days on a calendar his mother had bought him. Two weeks down, two weeks to go. Even Peter was beginning to admit that it wasn’t that bad. 

“Did I tell you?” he said one day as they were walking to Divination. Remus conveniently had Ancient Runes during that time, so they were free to discuss the Leaf Project. “A couple of nights ago was the first time that I fell asleep without thinking about the leaf.”

“See?” said Sirius. “I knew it would get easier.”

“Well, sure, of course,” said Peter, puffing out his chest. “It was just, you know, nice.”

“I know what you mean,” said James. “Talking isn’t so difficult anymore either. Which is a particularly good thing because I was getting tired of not answering in class.”

“You mean you were getting tired of simply nodding at Evans instead of greeting her like some character out of one of Remus’ plays,” said Sirius. “I swear, you nodded so emphatically at her last week that your head almost fell off.”

“Sod off,” said James, grumpily. 

Sirius grinned and began rifling through his bag. “Hey, I have to drop something off for Slughorn.”

“You’ve actually done an assignment?” said James, eyes nearly bugging out from behind his glasses. “Well, don’t let us keep you from turning in work for once.”

Sirius gave him the finger and slipped down a hallway that lead to Slughorn’s office in the dungeons. The dungeons creeped Sirius out. Perhaps it was because they gave off the same cold, unfeeling sentiment that was so often present in the Most Noble and Ancient House of Black. It was the sort of place where Regulus belonged. It was the sort of place where his bloody awful cousins belonged. Worst of all, it was the sort of place where Snivellus belonged.

“Hello, Black.”

Sirius felt the hairs on the back of his neck stand up. He turned around slowly, not wanting to keep his back turned on Snape. “Fucking hell...is that all it takes? I just have to think about you and you show up?”

“You were thinking about me?” Snape simpered. “Well, well, well, don’t let Lupin hear you saying that or he’ll get jealous.”

Fight it, Sirius told himself. Just fucking fight it. What would Remus do? Remus would tell you not to punch him in the nose.

“Just shut up, Snivellus,” he said. “I’m here to drop off something for Slughorn and then I’m gone. I know you like to...lurk down here. I’m sure you subsist on the slime that grows on these very dungeon walls. So, you know, go on ahead of me and just fuck off out of my sight.”

Snape smirked at him. “I’m going to see Professor Slughorn as well.”

“Lucky, lucky me,” said Sirius. With a heavy sigh, he turned around and pressed on through the dark, dank tunnels. The quicker he got to Slughorn’s, the quicker he would be rid of Snape. 

“You and your gang have been acting quite strangely,” said Snape.

Sirius took a breath in through his nose and let it out through his mouth. This would all be so much easier if Snape didn’t talk. But of course he had to talk, he had to needle, otherwise he wouldn’t be Snape.

“Want to add some descriptive details to that sentence?”

“You were really quiet a few weeks ago, which was pleasant at first, but then it just got suspicious,” said Snape. “And now you’re strutting around smugly and I want to know what you’re smug about.”

Sirius sighed and whirled around. Snape stopped just in time to avoid a collision. “Don’t you think we’re always smug?”

“Well, yes,” said Snape, scowling. “But you’re more smug these days.”

“Do you have a sliding scale for that? Or a little chart that you keep in your folder of information about us because you’re obsessed?”

Snape gave him an expression deadened by disgust and disinterest. Then he droned, “I am not obsessed with you.”

“Then why are you always following us around? And snitching on us? Don’t you have anything better to do?”

There was a slight twitch just above Snape’s left eye and Sirius knew that he had annoyed him. Taking that as a victory for the good side, Sirius opened his mouth wide for a satisfied “ha!” Just for a split second.

In that split second, Sirius felt the leaf slip in his mouth. The leaf, which had been so solidly in place not a moment earlier that Sirius had felt himself communing with all the trees of the world, slipped. He shut his mouth and grabbed the leaf with his tongue, but he must not have been quick enough. Snape’s eyes widened instantly and he raised a long, slender, sallow finger to point in Sirius’ face.

“What was that?” he demanded.

“What was what?” said Sirius, putting on his best nonchalant expression.

“You know exactly what,” said Snape. “Why on earth would you have a leaf in your mouth?”

Sirius let out a bark of laughter. “A leaf? Is that what you think you saw? You need to get your bloody eyes checked, Snivellus, because I have no reason to be carrying around a leaf in my mouth. Fucking inbred weirdo…”

Snape whipped out his wand purposely and was halfway through cursing Sirius when Sirius cursed him right back. They both flew back with the force of the combined spells, but they were soon on their feet again and ready for round two. At that very moment, Professor Slughorn rounded the corner.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Remus’ friends were up to something. Granted, they were usually up to something, but this was something new. If it were a prank, they would surely let him in on whatever the plan was. But lately they had been acting more strangely than normal, halting conversations abruptly when he arrived or changing subjects rapidly.

“The long and short of it,” Sirius was saying. “Is that I have detention for a week. But it was worth it because I got to see Snape do a lovely impression of a tango dancer.”

“One of my favorite curses,” said James, fondly, as though he were talking about a cherished child.

“But why?” said Remus. “Why did you curse him? What were you arguing about?”

Sirius looked flustered for a moment and then chuckled. “You know, the regular stuff. He took a jab at you, I jabbed back, and we...kept on jabbing until the wands came out. Same old, same old.”

If things had been normal, Sirius would have given a blow-by-blow of just what Snape had said to him and just what his comebacks had been. Clearly, something was going on. Remus knew that if he questioned them all now, he would never get to the bottom of it. But if he waited until the others had gone to bed, and it was just him and Sirius, he might have a better chance.

Peter was the first to crack, citing the Transfiguration test the next day as a reason to get more sleep than usual. James lasted much longer, as he usually did. Remus’ eyelids were just becoming too heavy for the rest of his face when James let out a long yawn and rubbed at his eyes.

“Guess I should turn in too,” he said. “You guys coming?”

“Hmm?” said Remus, looking up from his book as though he hadn’t been watching them all like a hawk. “Oh, um, still reading.”

“Still watching Remus read,” said Sirius, from the floor. 

James snorted. “Okay, weirdoes. See you tomorrow.”

Once James was upstairs and out of earshot, Remus lowered his book to look at Sirius. And then he let out an undignified yelp and dropped his book because Sirius really was just watching him read. 

“Bloody hell,” Remus breathed. 

“Whatcha readin’?” said Sirius, grinning cheekily at him.

“I don’t recall,” said Remus, picking his book up from his lap and checking that no pages had been inadvertently dog-eared. “I think it was good, but then a madman stared at me creepily and put me off whatever it was.”

“The book didn’t catch your dangly bits, did it? I wouldn’t want to be responsible for that.”

“Yes, well,” said Remus, suddenly absorbed in checking the integrity of his book’s cover. “I mean, no. No. Dangly bits...all still there.”

Sirius nodded reverently, then crawled up into the armchair next to Remus’ armchair. For a frightening moment, Remus thought that Sirius was going to crawl into his armchair because it had certainly happened before. But instead he laid his head on the arm of the chair and batted his eyelashes at Remus.

Remus rolled his eyes and turned sideways to face Sirius. “Hey.”

“Hey,” said Sirius, mimicking him. 

“No, I...listen,” said Remus. Sirius was always doing this. He was always trying to trivialize conversations and make them funnier than Remus intended. Sometimes it was a welcome distraction from shit that was happening, but sometimes it was just annoying.

“What’s going on with you guys?” he said.

Sirius looked taken aback and then covered it well with an unconcerned scoff. "I don't know what you mean."

"Oh, I think you do," said Remus. "And you should know by now that I'm going to scold you all no matter what, so you might as well just tell me what the prank is."

"S'not a prank," said Sirius. He fiddled with the cuffs of his school shirt. Most of the buttons were undone, revealing a white t-shirt and some dog tags.

"Where did you get those?" Remus asked, pointing at Sirius' chest.

"Weird Muggle shop near James' house," said Sirius. He rubbed at one of the dog tags absent-mindedly. "It's not a prank. Honestly."

"I find that hard to believe," said Remus. "Go on, just tell me. Or else I'll be forced to tell Professor McGonagall that something vaguely untoward is taking place."

Sirius smirked at him. "You wouldn't."

"No, but I would start to think that the three of you don't want me involved any longer," said Remus, before he could stop himself. "And I know that I'm a wet blanket and a spoilsport and whatever else you call me, but I do enjoy the escapades."

"Oh," said Sirius, his expression rather maudlin all of a sudden. "I...this isn't about that. It isn't about you. I mean, it is about you. It's all about you. Just not in that way."

"Sirius, you're making no sense."

"No. I mean, I know. I'm just trying to say...this isn't about cutting you out of the group, Remus. It would never be about that."

"Well, then, what the hell is going on?" said Remus, impatiently. It was nice to hear that they'd never consider setting him adrift in the sea of Hogwarts students he'd never bothered to get to know, but Sirius was still being persistently cagey.

"I can't tell you!" Sirius burst out, suddenly. "Can't you just stop being bloody Sherlock fucking Holmes for one second and let something happen without you knowing every single miniscule detail?"

Sirius proceeded to let out a massively dramatic sigh, rumple his already rumpled hair, and storm off to the boys' dormitory, leaving Remus nearly alone in the common room.

Remus scraped his nail across the edge of his book and chewed at his lip. He still had no idea what was going on, but it felt eerily similar to when he would interrogate his mother about Christmas gifts as a young child. It wasn't that he didn't enjoy being surprised, it was just...all right, he didn't enjoy being surprised. And any surprise being planned by James and Sirius was bound to leave at least a minor trail of destruction in its wake. He just wanted to be prepared, that was all.

Remus was so preoccupied with running through possible James-and-Sirius Surprise Plans that he didn't hear Kingsley sit down in the chair recently vacated by Sirius.

"Your friends are very strange individuals," Kingsley rumbled.

For the second time that evening, Remus emitted an undignified yelp. He managed to hold onto his book this time, though. 

"What?"

"Your friends are very strange," Kingsley said, again. "And they're also very disruptive. You know, some people use the common room to study. Tell them to keep it down in here, would you?"

"Oh, Kingsley," Remus sighed. "If you think that I have any control over them whatsoever..."

Remus trailed off, silenced by the hard stare of Kingsley Shacklebolt.

"Right. I'll do my level best," said Remus, smiling cheerily and then hurrying upstairs to the dormitory.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Albus, I’m concerned about James Potter and his friends,” said Professor McGonagall. The concern had been niggling at the back of her brain ever since Peter Pettigrew had recovered from a bout of choking right in front of her.

“Aren’t you always concerned about them, Minerva?” said Dumbledore. He was studying that morning’s Daily Prophet, his mouth drawn in a straight line. “They are the sort of young boys who always cause concern in one way or another.”

“Yes, I know, but there’s been more concern than usual lately,” said McGonagall. “A couple of weeks ago, Mr. Potter and Mr. Black sat through an entire class period with me in complete silence.”

Dumbledore looked up from his paper, his eyebrows raised with interest. “Well. That is rather strange.”

“That’s what I’m saying,” said McGonagall. “The next day, they spent the class period gesticulating wildly at each other, as though they were trying to speak to each other through some sort of nonverbal code.”

“Go on,” said Dumbledore, nodding. 

“I met Mr. Pettigrew in the hallway about a week ago and he seemed normal, but then he began choking for no apparent reason,” she said. “And he refused all help until he appeared to have recovered and simply went on his way.”

“I see,” said Dumbledore, a slight smile appearing on his face. 

“What could he have been choking on? I mean, I know the boy’s not the sharpest in his class, but he can’t be choking on his own saliva, surely.”

“No, certainly not,” said Dumbledore, smirking now.

Professor McGonagall sat down in the chair across from Dumbledore’s desk and stared at him inquisitively. “And just what are you smiling at, Albus?”

Dumbledore shook his head and looked down at his paper again. “Nothing, Minerva. Mr. Potter and his friends are kind young men who care very much about their friends. The world needs more people like them, especially now.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“I’m sure you’re wondering why we’ve asked you here,” said James.

Remus shrugged and tugged at the sleeves of his sweater. “I sort of sleep here. I would have had to come eventually.”

“Well, yeah, but this is important,” said James.

Remus nodded and folded his legs underneath him. He had no idea what was happening, but he was sure it was going to take a while, so he might as well be comfortable. It was all well and good to call something important, but James and Sirius had cried wolf with that word far too many times before. They had said it was very important when Peter fell asleep on his Charms textbook and woke up with spells written across his cheek. They had also called it important when Snape had come to breakfast with the back of his robes tucked into his trousers. Their track record was not stellar.

Still, Remus had come. Mostly because Sirius had bounded down the stairs into the common room and tugged on the shoulders of his sweater until he had been forced to set aside his book and follow Sirius to whatever emergency was occurring. 

He had to admit that this setup appeared more important than anything else James and Sirius had assigned the word to. James, Sirius, and Peter were standing in a semicircle in front of Remus, whom they had directed to sit on his bed. 

“Are you guys breaking up with me?” said Remus, smirking at them. “Or am I getting a baby brother?”

“Shush,” said James, impatiently. “Just listen. Pete -- you start.”

Peter cleared his throat and stepped forward. “In his transformed state, a werewolf can be vicious and unhinged from his own mind.”

Remus nodded slowly. “I...have some experience with that, yes.”

“But there are actually some things that can help ease the transformation process and make a werewolf more tame and controlled when transformed,” Peter continued.

“Yes, I know that also,” said Remus. “Apparently, werewolves are more focused and controllable if they’re around a pack. That can mean other werewolves or even just other animals. Why are you telling me all of this?”

James grinned. “Say hello to your pack.”

Remus stared at James, blinking in confusion. He looked to Peter for more information, but Peter was just grinning at him too. He looked to Sirius, who looked like he was about to explode. Remus raised his eyebrows at him and that seemed to punch the “detonate” button.

“We’re becoming animagi,” he burst out, grinning just as widely as James and Peter.

Remus snorted. “I...I’m sorry, I think I misheard you. Did you mean to say...something that sounds like animagi?”

“Nope,” said James, rocking back and forth on his heels. “We started the process of becoming animagi.”

“And that’s why we’ve been so weird this past month,” said Peter.

“We had to have these nasty, old mandrake leaves in our mouths for a month,” said Sirius. “Can you even imagine? A month! And it was disgusting and I wanted to complain about it to you every single day, but James said we shouldn’t tell you.”

“We didn’t want to get your hopes up for something that might not work,” James explained. “But we made it through the month. Now, there are about a billion other steps we have to go through, but the leaf phase is done. The other steps seem like a piece of cake compared to that.”

“We don’t know what animals we’ll be until we enter the final phase,” said Peter. “But statistically one of us will have to be something big enough to handle a werewolf. Or, at least, that’s what we’re hoping.”

“Remus?” said Sirius. “Are you okay?”

Remus was more than okay. He was more okay than he had ever been before. He also appeared to be lost for words for the first time in his life. He was trying to think of something, some kind of response that he could give them, but every time he opened his mouth his eyes welled up with tears.

“I...um,” he said, finally, fiddling with a loose thread around one of the buttons on his sweater. “I really don’t know what to say, guys. This is...completely amazing.”

“We thought so too,” said Sirius, who was practically bouncing with excitement. 

“I don’t know what to...I...thank you.”

Remus was not a physical person. He hadn’t even really enjoyed hugs as a child. Sirius was one of the most physical people Remus had ever met, and he was diligently trying to get Remus to become more physical, but Remus had yet to give in. At this moment, however, a hug seemed to be the most appropriate response. Words, for once, just weren’t cutting it.

James and Peter each returned Remus’ hug warmly, embracing him like a long-lost brother. Sirius froze when Remus hugged him. Remus had never seen Sirius freeze when confronted with a hug, but he supposed it was the sheer surprise of the situation. After a moment, Sirius thawed and hugged Remus back, holding him for just a moment too long. Remus felt Sirius’ hot breath on his neck and smiled to himself, though he wasn’t sure why.

“I wonder what sort of animals you’ll all be,” said Remus. He chuckled and shook his head, unable to erase the smile from his face. “I’m sorry, this is all so incredibly surreal.”

“I know,” said Sirius. 

“I think we need nicknames,” said James.

“Nicknames? We’re already the Marauders,” said Remus.

“Yeah, but we can come up with even better nicknames now,” said James.

“Yeah! You can be...Moony. You know, because of the moon,” said Sirius. “What do you think of that?” 

Remus nodded, turning the nickname over in his head. He’d never had a nickname before. It felt rather nice, he supposed. “I like that idea. I like that idea a lot.”


End file.
